Monday, 17 December 2012

Being on the Hunt, Fishing or Whatever you call this Game Called Love

So... blogging is meant to be about ones thoughts on any topic. I find that when I have the desire to open up on a topic I can recall the amount of times I been shot down on a number of open forums about a number of topics. Being told I'm just plain wrong - which is the most likely outcome of this wall of text - that I'm just making a topic to get an arguments and at times that can be fun. I find it different when I just want to attempt to express myself but I find that emotionally destructive in the following ways

  • I can almost recall every time I've attempt to express an opinion that I've been shot down on. 
  • It never turned out for the better
  • I've always been left feeling broken by it
  • I likely hurt others but the defensive position I believe I've myself in
  • This will like be a verbal display of ridicule about whatever, in an attempt to make me feel intelligent (FACT: in the wonder that is hindsight what I do when being defensive really does not equal intelligence at all)
So over the years I've to some extend look to just not share my opinions about things, they way I feel, what I think. As the energy required to defend my ideal is just to much to be bothered with. 

Where am I going with such an open paragraph? I also have no idea on that one, I'm just typing cause I feel likely and it feels good to think about this while listing to Start Shootin' by Little People play on repeat - oh, it appears there's a copy on Zune... Xbox Music, whatever. I'm now downloading it, repeating now will be easier then youtube. Where was I... Oh this wall of text. It's going to be about my grievances with what is online dating and how much the people on these site actively message or are really themselves. That being said I've only attempting to interact with girls on this side of the fence so as a humble male not looking to take advantage of someone this is my side of that fence.

Most the time you get something like following
I'm a down to earth person who does not judge anyone. I like music, going out with friend and I think family is important and yeah I find it really hard to describe myself and I need to fill this space. I find myself bored sometimes
That may have a picture if the service provider allow you to even see it. You sometimes also get an list of interests that you may write about but that's luck at best. Now for all my inhibitions of needing a person context to talk to someone, I will often pass this person by on the account I don't have information to form a conversation. I'll read the interests if they are there and look that pictures if present and if I find something interesting and develop a lousy context I will respond with something like the following

Not sure if I would be interesting enough to counter that boredom but I would be willing to try. You listed cooking as an interest, do you have anything you really like to cook? I would like to try my hand at desserts but I haven't had the opportunity. Do you have anything you're currently reading?
Awaiting your reply
A rather small effort on my part I have a tendency to write more depending on the information provided of my assumption on the person I'm messaging. So far 99% of the time the message will sit as "Unread", it may even changed to "Unread Deleted". There have been the rear moments of "Read".

I have in some brief events been able to strike up a little amount of conversation from someone, It will often end strangely and similar to a conversation in the real world where talking about the Weekend, Work and the Weather has run dry and there is not much left to say I will have no viable way of continuing the thread chain and it will fall to the wayside. Like a forgotten letter sent by post

I all reality why is it I'm just looking at an online dating method. Mostly cause I'm a complete introvert, being around people drains me very quickly I prefer to be home with a glass of Cola and Rum in hand either playing a computer game with friends, watching a Movie or a new show. I would love to have more knowledge of social outing I would like to attend but as I work almost an hours travel from how with reliable storage to baggage I don't really see the need to have on me it is quite the occasion to have to get home, change/shower and out again to be surrounded by people I may not know in hopes of finding something with some kind of interest in what I find enjoyable that may have had their own friends drag them our for a little "Fun"

Well that my ramble for the moment. As much of a jumble of nonsense this is, it was fun to write it.

Maybe I'll do more... when I become more productive with my time (This is the current theme :P )